This is TRUE love

Let me tell you a love story.

It is true-ALL of it.

And it involves me.

I wish it didn't.

I took the best bath yesterday. It was perfectly temperatured.. It had bubbles. And for about 10 minutes, I was able to soak in peace. Then.. my devil children found me and insisted upon getting in with me. Because I was feeling so happy and content I allowed them to get in and start splashing me and shaving each other.. It was magical. After about 5 minutes, Sadie decided she was plenty clean and so she removed herself from the tub. She grabbed a towel and dried herself off-I know, so independant- and got herself dressed. I was the next to be done and so I got myself out and proceeded to dry my massive body. Because I am not wasteful or indulgent, I used the same towel that Sadie had just used. Half way through the monumental task of drying myself, I noticed my body was covered with hair... not MY hair... someone ELSE's hair!

Could it be?

Yes, it could. I was covered in my husband's hair trimmings...

Once or twice a year, my lover gets anxiety which is produced by his body hair. He starts shaving and doesn't stop until he is as smooth and soft as a newborn chick. This task always involves him standing on one of the bath towels as he shaves himself. He is not satisfied until it looks like he is standing on road kill (that manly man has ALOT of hair I tell you!).

Well, on this fine morning, he had left his magnificent man clippings for me and Sadie to slather on our gleaming bodies. He had scrunched the towel up and Sadie, in her innocence, had used his hair towel and me, in my ignorance, had followed her lead. Poor Sadie! I yelled at her to come get back in the tub because her daddy was a moron. She didn't understand what that had to do with anything and so she refused. I, on the other hand, jumped back in the bath and tried to dispose of his nastiness. Then, of course, there is the matter of cleaning the tub after such an incident. How is that fair that he gets anxiety because he has some weird hair phobia and because of that, I end up with anxiety and his hair covering me??

Holy mother scratcher was I in a pickle. Do I call and yell at him? Do I curse him aloud and rant and rave and rent my coat! No! I didn't! Because, I tell you.. I love him and he has been working so hard that I had to give him a pass. It is a one-time only deal though. If it EVER happens again... Well, let's just say, I have two words for what will happen..

LORENA BOBBIT! Shaved or unshaved, it will be LORENA BOBBIT!