Luke's First Day of his Third Year of Preschool

Yes, that is a bucket. Not backpacks at this preschool.

No, we are going for the "little house on the prairie" feel.

This is his third year, but will hopefully be his last! I am seriously a little worried because my sweet little boy does not seem to be motivated to learn or do his homework. He is, however, motivated by the female population, so I need to learn how to work that in to his learning plan. Maybe he will not be able to "hang out" with the older neighbor girls anymore unless he practices his big M and little m and his A sounds and writes his name 5 times. I am a bit stressed about his apathy and lack of commitment. I only hope this is not a sign of things to come in kindergarten...

I am kidding, people. Seriously, I want to punch people who have their kids reading before kindergarten. I mean, what is the point? YOUR KIDS WILL BE BORED BECAUSE THEY ALREADY KNOW THE WHOLE YEARS CURRICULUM. Sorry, I shouted with caps.

OK, for real, I am jealous. I want to punch people whose kids are reading before kindergarten because I am green with envy. I have come to the troubling conclusion that I am actually going to have to participate in Luke learning to read and I haven't done that sort of parenting for a very long time. I am quite old and a bit on the grumpy side. I just don't think it is right that the same parent has to deal with teaching a kid to read and then 2 seconds later, trying to teach another kid how to drive, and then 2 seconds later teaching another kid how to turn off their phone for a prayer and then don't forget the all-time best, teaching a child how to wipe after #2. Maybe this reading and writing task is one of those parenting tasks best left for Todd to be in charge of. Then if it doesn't work out, I can blame him for his apathy and lack of commitment to our child's education.

However, after careful reflection and reviewing this post and my husband's signature, I think it would be considered neglect or possibly abuse if I had my husband teach my child how to write. Notice how similar Maddie's signature and Todd's signature is. Maybe she is going to be a doctor. That is my only hope.

Why do spiders exist?

Fall Sunday Afternoons = HEAVEN!!

Big Cottonwood Canyon

Luke with his stick gun that he found within 2 seconds of beginning the hike..

Sadie running with her "sord"

Muzzle pointing down, we have taught him well.

Cuteness level - off the charts!

Running with my baby on his back

Luke barely hanging on as Tanner is running down trail..

Sadie almost coming off of Todd's shoulders as he runs..

Super fun.

Boy knees

I have been so busy the last few weeks (OK, months) that we haven't been able to hike nearly as much as we would like with the family. So, I insisted yesterday that we get out and see some leaves. I think we missed the majority of the color change, we mostly saw just dead leaves... Oh, well. As I always say, I kinda hate perfect, so it was fitting that we really had to search for a hike that exhibited any color. We did eventually find a fun little hike that still had some colors and we enjoyed some time on the dusty trail.

What I will remember..

• Todd having to go to the bathroom right when we get to the trailhead. So typical of him. He goes more than a breast-fed baby. Really, that is what he is. A breast-fed baby. (Sorry mom)
• Maddie wearing her hiking shoes, which just happen to be her white flip flops...(see here)
• Sadie found a "sord" (sword) and hit each of us at least 4 times as she tried to slay all of the bushes she walked past.
• Luke running down the trail, despite me telling him not to run. And within 10 seconds of my warning, a huge dust cloud and a screech that frightened up a flock of birds.. He had tripped over a stump and got "some bloods" on both his knees and his elbow.
• Tanner running down the trail with Luke on his back and me yelling for him to stop... Did he? No, he just moved him around front so if he fell, he would fall on Luke. Dreamy. Luckily, he didn't fall. (I would have killed him if he did.)
• At the end of our short little hike, the kids jumping off the rocks by the parking lot. They could jump to dad and Tanner for hours. And would, if we had nothing better to do with our lives.
• Another beautiful few minutes with all of my beautiful children and wonderful (if a bit loose-boweled) husband. I love them so much!

Living La Vida Loca

Maddie has been about 2 weeks without her beloved. Her beloved is her phone. It has been painful. Kind of like removing an appendage with no anesthetic... You parents of teens know what I mean. For her dad and I, it has been a magical 14 days. 14 days of laughter, few tears.. days of happy, not sad.. days of Maddie's face looking at us and speaking, not the top of her head as she is texting for the 4,000th time that day. Maddie asked for her phone back today. Dad was in charge of this whole situation as I tend to be a teeny, tiny bit dramatic and strict and I yell alot. So, as I was saying, Maddie asked her Dad for her phone. Todd insisted she write up a contract regard the phone and the appropriate usage for her phone and if he and I agreed it was a good contract we could all sign it.

Maddie: "What's a contract?"

(just kidding, she is a very intelligent girl..)

Maddie came back mere moments later with this...

Todd said it was all fine, except we needed an addendum to the contract that would explain the term "minimally" as worded in the contract.

Maddie: "What's an addendum?"

(not kidding, Todd told her to google it)

Seconds later, she came back with her artfully crafted addendum to her previous contract. I think she may have found her niche in life....

Addendum to this post:

I am in mortal danger because she just saw that I posted this and I have been informed that I am sharing too much of her life on my blog and I am to stop.  So this will be the last entry regarding Maddie unless she approves. Failure to comply will result in her not speaking to me for a year.

Dates, Football, Soccer, Peaches, Pears... OH MY!

THESE + THIS...

EQUALS THESE.

And yes, the lids say "Pears 2009" Because I used the same lids from last year because we are in a RECESSION people!! Oh, ya, I forgot, the recession has been over for a few months.. (stupid economic people...)

As you know, I am a professional canner. So thus, I have been canning. As noted in my previous posts, I have spent many a fort night on my feet canning the various seasonal assortment of fruits. Today (and yesterday) was peaches.

3 fresh peach pies (all of which were gone in 5 minutes)

14 quarts of canned peaches

9 pints of cooked jam

5 pints of freezer jam

Is that seriously all I did??? Doesn't seem like that much, but I also did the following....

Maddie got asked out on Wednesday to Bingham's homecoming dance which is in a couple of weeks. I can already tell I am going to be one of those mothers.. I am way into this crap!! So she got the poster... something about she had to look through the 5 gallon ice cream bucket to find out who asked her. Which we did.. for about an hour.

I finally ended up straining it while running hot water over it to see if we could find the name that way.. we never did. Luckily we figured out (we had some other clues) who it was. So then the conniving starts and we have to answer in a clever or unique way. So Maddie and I came up with the idea, to say when pigs fly I will go with you to homecoming. So of course, this weekend when I was also doing peaches, we had to come up with the decorations and make arrangements to decorate his room. So cute. Love the pig flying from his ceiling fan.

Candy all over the floor, pink balloons all over the room and a pig wired to your ceiling fan. Just what this teenaged boy was hoping for I am sure.

Of course, I also have ADHD or obsessive compulsive disorder or something and we had to start buying dresses. In a matter of seconds, we had found 3 that we just had to have.

Todd, if you are reading this..

1- You can not wear the same dress to every dance and

2-She is my first girl and I am reliving my teen years through her and

3-I made her purchase one of the dresses

4-We got killer deals!! Love ya, honey...

OK. So that all happened in a 36 hour period of time. Then, today we had soccer for the two little munchkins. So cute. Really, I don't think either one will be a professional athlete. But, I am sure they think they are the coolest things to ever grace a cleat or a shin guard. Sadie's shin guards look like little popsicle sticks, so tiny! Like their mother, their favorite part of the activity is the treats after.

Precious monkeys..

It's so cute, it hurts my heart...

Luke got a break-away, but was caught from behind by one of his teammates. He was very bugged and later told me "I twy and twy, but the othew boys on my team aw just biggew and fastew than me!" Tender little child..

Right after soccer, was football. Such a gorgeous day and I just love football so much. I don't know how it happened but I just love it and wish I could play it. Actually, there are probably some high school teachers that remember when I did play it for the powder puff football game. I rocked some chick's world. It was awesome. Enough about me, my son did awesome today and it was great to be able to sit with Maddie on the sidelines enjoying the beautiful fall day. Our team won, which was just the cherry on top.

Speaking of fruit, I ate too much today. I think I might have diarrhea. Toodles...

Holy Crap! I am a Mother!

I just realized I am a mother. You might find that odd. And you should because I have been a mother for 16 years. Why the realization? Because I just spent the last 40 or so hours doing the same thing my mother used to do.. What is that you ask? Well, on top of that list is more of the canning... You know-the bottling, preserving, old-people crap. Got a bushel of peaches and went to town, just like my mom used to (and still does-she's freakin' crazy!). Only to be honest, I am quite sure my mom would do at least 3 bushel of peaches in the time it took for me to figure out what the crap pectin is used for. So, I once again spent the day on my feet, making my floor and every other surface in my kitchen sticky. I burned my hand twice, stuck my paring knife in my finger at least 6 times, pulled a hamstring lifting my boxes, not to mention I almost peed my pants because-- heaven forbid!-- I take my eyes of my steamer for even one second (Mom, you taught me well, "make sure it is steaming about 6 inches...no more! no less!!") I think maybe I swore, but it was not a young person swear word, it was an AARP swear work, probably a

damn

or a

bloody hell

Nothing racy, just an exclamation of my old-person frustration with the way my jam was setting up or the disgust as I found yet another bruise in a seemingly perfect peach. You know, the things that upset us mothers who have really become mothers. I find it a bit ironic that I feel a bit more like a mother after today, because as I canned, I did very little mothering. What mothering I did do, was from a distance...

"Don't jump on the couch at least not right after eating!"

"Don't brush Sophie's bum hole with that comb!!"

"We aren't eating lunch today, unless you can reach the goldfish crackers!"

"Sadie, I can't wipe you! Can you wipe your sister, Luke?"

"Maddie, could you do pick up Cafe Rio for dinner?"

Somehow, I don't think this was my best day as a mother. But, I feel so much more on the road to being like my mom.. a shriveled, arthritic woman who is bitter about the world and all of the fruit in it just needing to be canned. I love you, mom. Really, I do.

Cool canning lingo

I am the Canning Queen

Once again, I exceeded all of my Mother's expectations.  She is soon going to have to get a new favorite daughter (I have given up being the favorite child, we all know who that is, "baby boy"). I think that I should get a month long pass from anything domestic, because today I did nothing but can, or shall I say "bottle" as they said in the 50's.  I "put up" a 1/2 bushel of pears as.. 

1) Pear-vanilla preserves

2) Orange Pear marmalade

Again, I may soon have my own TV show, delighting audiences around the globe with my skills as a Artist Extraordinaire specializing in the pear variety of preservation.  I may even just start my own internet company, selling my extravagant wares to unfortunate, and untalented folks such as yourselves.  I mean, really... look at those fabulous names.  I think the only way to improve on those names is to add some fancy-schmancy East coast town to the beginning of the name.   Like Nantucket Pear-Vanilla Preserves, or The Original Hamptons Orange Pear Marmalade... I think I am on to something.  Definitely better than South Jordan Mish Mash of Overripened Pear.

I am sorry for your pain. Someday you will be able to purchase these gems for yourself.  But for now, go ahead and eat your smuckers and try not to wish evil on my talents.  It is a gift that my mother gave to my sister who then shared 1/8th of her knowledge with me.  I just expanded on the small morsels I was tossed.