Summer Fashion by Sophie

Follow these rules and you too can look like Sophie and live a life of high fashion and sophistication.

1. Don't wear pants. It gives your private parts a nice breeze to keep you fresh. And also, if you need to, you can lay on the grass and get a quick tickle.

2. If you are going to wear a hat make sure it is a pink houndstooth fedora. And don't smile. It makes you look mysterious and fancy and European.

3. If people think you look cute, they may laugh and point at you. They may even take pictures of you and blog about you. Don't get offended. Just take it in stride. Or if you don't stride, take it like me (while sitting down).

4. Summer diets are a thing of the past. Embrace your shape. Even if you are shaped like a large boulder or a bowling ball with legs.

5. Don't shave. Hair is beautiful. Even hair around nipples. Just ask my 9 nipples (YES, 9 nipples). Shaving is over-rated. You humans with your "bald eagles" and "brazilians"! What is your issue? You are sick!

6. Summer is for naps, snacks, laying in the dirt (with no pants or shirt), and getting petted.

OK- don't do that last thing, unless you are married. That is just for Sophie (hussy).

Sophie

Why do I love this dog?

All she does is sleep (approximately 22 hours a day), eat (takes about 1 minute) & poop (haven't timed it). She spends the rest of the time following me around, curled at our feet or basking all of her glory in a ray of sunshine. When she gets overly excited, she still does the "little dance" (humping). She runs away (and by runs away I mean she meanders slowly outside the vicinity that I can see or smell her) at the most inopportune of times. She farts and burps and doesn't smell entirely pleasant. She snores louder than my father (who-heaven love him- makes noises never previously heard in nature). She gets hair on me when I pet her.

But, alas, I must profess my endearment for this dear little pig dog. She is a great cuddler and she is in pure heaven when I take her on an errand in the car. She lets Sadie lay on her and take her on walks (even though she weighs twice what Sadie weighs). She thinks everyone is her friend and that everyone who visits is here just to pet and love on her. She acts so sad and dismayed when she know we are mad at her, but yet, never does she show her annoyance at us, the most annoying family ever. I guess I love her because it is so obvious that she loves me and my family, despite the chaos that is our home. What I wouldn't give to know what she thinks about as she watches me dash from room to room, picking up toys that the next minute are right back on the floor. She must think I am a crazy person (which I am). I wonder if she ever gets a headache living with us. Maybe that is why she "runs away". I wonder if she is happy. I guess one look at her sweet squishy face lounging in her favorite sun spot should tell me.

She is happy.