Humility

A few episodes to remind me of my humanness, my utter lack of grace and dignity.  Oh, and also I want to remember my husband's idiocy too.  We are a pair, I tell ya.

1. Mother's Day 2010.  Getting ready for 9:00 a.m. church.  By the way, what a stupid idea to have Mother's Day on a Sunday-we all know that in the LDS world, that is the least relaxing day of the week!! But, I digress...

I am hustling getting my little family ready.  Maddie (AKA my nanny, my maid, my right-hand) has slept in and we are all rushing around.  Everyone is bathed, fed and dressed.  I am in the process of finishing up and I look at the clock and mentally pat myself on the back because I am going to be able to be early for once!! In our ward, to get the good seats, you have to be early.  I like the good seats. Much more comfy, much less noise as Luke drives his matchbox cars, much easier to clean up crumbs.  Anywho, I digress...

A special hymn is playing in my head as I start to blow dry my hair.  I think it may have been "There is Sunshine in My Soul today"  My hair is magnificent in my fingers.  It feels soft, ooh so soft.  And it has a wonderful scent to it.  I am noticing however, that it seems to be taking a bit longer than normal to dry.  Then my brain actually wakes up and BAM it hits me.  DIDN'T RINSE THE CONDITIONER OUT OF MY HAIR.  

stupid mother's day and stupid 9:00 a.m. church....

2. The above story reminded me of the one other time when I felt happy thoughts while getting ready for church.  Same sort of scenario, ahead of the clock, going to get good seats, pleased with my choice of clothes, hair not entirely hideous... ready for the Sabbath.  Get to church, get a great seat in the middle of the congregation, about 5 rows from the stand.  Feel the spirit. Feel great happiness and peace.  Todd's hand on my shoulder & back.  Life is good.  I am in control and nothing can get me down.  THEN- BAM!!!  Todd's horrified expression as he looks at me at the end of the meeting- "You have your shirt on inside out!!"

stupid church and stupid seams & tag for the whole ward to see...

3.  Went to Walmart yesterday.  There was alot of "walmart" type people at Walmart yesterday.  Do you know what I mean?  Anyway, I was tired and could have been cranky, but I was bound and determined to be pleasant, even though there was an abundance of stupidity all around me, in the form of husbands with uncontrolled children trying to get last minute gifts for their dear mothers/wives.  I filled my cart and headed for the nearest check out line.  The cashier person struck up a conversation with me.  Normally, I am not into talking with my cashier person.  I will answer their questions, but not really engage in the conversation... yes, I am that kind of rude person.  BUT not yesterday.  I chatted with him about various things...plans for mother's day, his opinion of my choice of bacon... ya know, important stuff. We were connecting and I felt I had made a good friend.  He told me my total owed and of course I spent more than I intended so I gave him as much cash as I had ($120) and then swiped my card for the remainder.  I then did the dumbest thing imaginable in front of my new best friend-- when the monitor-thingy asked me if I wanted cash back, I pushed YES and got $80 cash back.  He hadn't even got my twenties in the register and had to hand them back to me. Do you know how stupid I felt in front of all the stupid walmart people?? My cashier guy actually laughed at me!! He said thank you to me for giving him the first laugh of his shift!!

stupid cash and stupid debit card and stupid math...

4.  The last story on my mind is a the story of Todd.  Todd is a smart and sexy man.  Todd has a good job and is a wonderful father.  But Todd makes silly errors sometimes that just about kill me.  

For our anniversary, Todd and I booked a massage.  I have done this before for our anniversary and he has somehow gotten out of going to the spa with me.  This was his first experience at the spa and he was in his glory. He was ready.  

He was shown to his dimly lit room, and told to get undressed and lay on the table.  Now, what I recall my masseuse saying is "Get undressed and then lay down on the table, under the top sheet.  

Todd, in his eagerness to be rubbed down by a complete stranger, didn't hear the UNDER THE SHEET.  He was obedient to the first two commands, and laid down NAKED, ON HIS BACK on the table. A few minutes passed and his poor little innocent masseuse comes back and what does she find?  You can only imagine the image.  She graciously said she would step out while he got under the sheet.  Wow..

stupid sheet & stupid instructions

I love that I am an idiot at times.  If you can't laugh at yourself, you are lame and boring.  If you can't laugh at your husband and blog about him when he embarrasses himself, I don't wish to know you.