What to do??

My sweet dog, Sophie.

What can I say?

She is very stinky.

And lazy.

She makes awful noises when she is sleeping

(which is 23 hours out of every day).

She makes awful smells when she is awake and asleep.

She can't go for walks,

however will run for 10-20 feet if she hears her food bowl.

She loves sitting, especially laying, in the sun as the photos show.

She doesn't love anything involving movement, including going potty.

I swear, she can hold her pee for more than 18 hours.

Especially if it is cold.

She will go to the door, like she needs to go.

I will oblige and open the door.

She will lower her head, and sniff.

I can just hear the doggy voice in her head going, 

"Ahh, hell no! I am not going out in that!"

She looks up at me as if to say,

"You have got to be kidding!"

And then she turns around and strolls back to her comfy pillows, 

her princess bed.

Poor sweet fat thing.

I just love her.

Recently, she has re-discovered her love for the couch.

My dear parents let her on their couch a couple of weekends ago,

now she thinks that she is allowed on all couches.

My husband thinks this new development is not so funny.

I like it.

She gets exercise.

You should see the sweat she gets in to pull herself up on the couch.

She literally burns about 1,000 calories every time she sneaks up.

She waits until we are gone or in bed and then she

grunts and groans and pulls herself up.

So cute.

Doing her own version of P90X.

Yesterday, I came home from a fabulous day of physical therapy labor

and Todd ceremoniously handed me this paper.

He has been troubled lately with Sophie's exceptionally bad

smelling breath.

It really is awful.

Like something that would proceed from the other end.

So Todd, sweet man, took her to the vet.

She has 4 rotting teeth.

They need to be extracted.

The bill below DOES NOT include the price of extracting the teeth.

Which happens to be $120 a tooth.

Which happens to be $480 dollars.

Which happens to chap my hide... 

I find it very odd and amusing that they took the time to give us this print out of charges.

But you will notice the last line says, "does NOT include extractions".

Why would they leave the best part off?

Why would they include charges for 27 other items,

but leave the $480 charge off?

I love the LOW amount and the HIGH amount..

That is fun.

And annoying.

I also love that she has to be sedated for the extractions.

And because she is now a "senior" citizen dog

they have to do a Senior Profile (blood tests) and a Senior Anesthesia Protocol.

Can't you just give her a little whiff of the juice and pull her teeth?

Seriously, why do I have to bend over and grab my ankles so my

sweet pig dog doesn't smell like the sewer?

I hate my life.

Todd has informed me that it would be less expensive to put her to sleep.

He will be sleeping in her dog house.

He is not welcome on Sophie's couch.

He was joking, but I did not laugh.

She is my little angel.

My little sausage shaped angel.

Who does not smell like roses,

but the best little (big) dog anyone could every ask for.

Sophie can't find her pepperoni.

Sophie is disgusting with us for sitting on her couch.