This is what 40 looks like (you have been warned!)

This post will forever remind me of the day that any grain of vanity and pride left my body.  As you will see from the pictures, I have no sense of right or wrong.  I let it all hang out at my party and, let's just say, it is a DARN good thing that I don't drink alcohol because who knows what would have happened!! Let's just say it was not the most mature or dignified of affairs, but HALLELUJAH FOR THAT!! I, for one, had a grand time with my grannie panties and shower caps.  Who knew that it would be so freeing to wear a size 3X pantie!!?? 

I loved every minute of it, especially the minutes spent hugging my friends and family who took time out of their busy lives to come to my party which marked the end of my life.  You are all the freakin' best and I had the time of my life (and I never felt this way before, I swear, it's the truth and I owe it all you).  

Lots of great memories were made.. wendy and patty in my grannie panties, todd and brandon in the grannie wigs, melony singing my some broadway tunes at the door, my beautiful sister and her boys surprising me, my friends dancing to Outkast, natalie and todd doing Sadie's nails, Sophie wearing my grannie panties on her head, breaking my hip... all so much fun. 

I really dressed up for the affair.  I quite like my coral plaid polyester jacket.

Got my hair set.

Bought me some new readers at Wal-Mart after my "greeter" shift was over.

Some of the girls from work.

Obviously, from a much younger generation than mine.

"Ssshh... you must be quiet to hear my sizzle..."

My grannies as french cut grannies..

Natalie making Rachel's nails gorgeouso!

Don't be jealous, I have had work done..

Jodi, Daysha and I rockin' the club.

My favorite part of the night was my Sara coming to my party.

Did not know she was coming.

Or maybe I forgot... hmmm, awkward!

Cutest friends ever!!

Jesse and Jenny  and Nolan

I take no responsibility for this picture. 

I think Patty may have had a small stroke right when this picture was snapped.

That is the same pair of grannie panties that I wore.

They have their whole body in one leg opening.

I am so going to become anorexic..

Same grannie panties that I peed a little in when I was doing the dance.

Whoopsie Daisy!

Once again, Patty is out of control.

Jenny is hot.

Wendy is checkin' my perm out.

She wants some of that curly action.

This is my cat lady face.

This is my senior citizen jump.

This is my interpretation of a Mary Tyler Moore moment..

or Singing in the Rain moment..

something that only old people watch..

falling, falling, falling..

I broke my hip!!

Nevermind, it was not broke, just dislocated. 

I am fine now.

Good as new.

My interpretation of Antoine Dodson, tough guy.

Nevermind my white skin and purple flashin hair.

Just look at my scary & intimidating face.

Cutest grannie ever!

Herriman Cougar Club, charter members.

Sophie is exhausted after all of the dancing she did.

Heading for the shower.

Those crazy grannie panties..

Gotta love 'em.

 PS... WENDY, YOU ARE A DREAM COME TRUE!  THANKS FOR A GREAT PARTY! I WILL MAKE YOU SOME FLAPJACKS ON YOUR BIRTHDAY OK!? OR IF YOU WANT, I'LL FRY YOU UP SOME SPAM, FOR A SPAM SANDWICH... GRAPE JELLY?? YOU DECIDE.. WHATEVER YOU WANT! THIS GRANNY WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU SOMEHOW, SOME WAY...

LAST DAY OF MY LIFE

Goodbye, 30's.

What I won't miss about being 30 something-

1.  From the time I turned 30, I was already counting the years to when I would be 40. Now I am finally going to be that awful number and I can stop the countdown already!

2.   30 is busy!! I am looking forward to my "retirement" from the busy last decade of my life.   Please tell me life slows down, please!?? (I know, I am kidding myself)

3. I had set my mind to do 10 things, but let's be real, I can't come up with anything else.  The 30's were great to me.  And this is my last day as a 30 something.  Harsh.

What I will enjoy about turning 40-

1. My birthday party tomorrow.  So excited to see all my friends or at least the ones who are coming.  To all of you who are not coming, let me just say ... "WHASSUP??? WHERE'S THE LOVE?" You are going to be so sorry to miss this affair.  But, if you tune into "Extra" tomorrow night, I am sure you will see paparazzi shots of this seriously glamorous meeting of lovely ladies. 

2.   As I turn 40 tomorrow, my husband will still be part of the 30 something crowd, which makes me feel very cougarish and cool to have a younger husband.  It is especially pleasing to my mind when someone says, "Todd's younger than you??  That is crazy, you look a lot younger than him!" I seriously love it!! He is quite a yummy piece of cougar bait, though. Even with his silver hair.  

3.  Being able to say, "I am 40!" when someone asks me how old I am.  I am proud to have made it 4 decades and have no problem telling people my age.  I plan on enjoying my 40's as much as I did my 30's.  

Hello, 40's. I am totally ready for you.  What is it gonna be... a slow descent into madness or more of the same... crazy fun times with family and friends?  Maybe a little of both, but whatever!  BRING IT ON!

Gorgoza Park via Sundance Ski Resort

Planned a fun weekend with the kids, minus Sadie. I wanted to take Maddie and Tanner snowboarding and we decided that it was time to let Luke come along and take a skiing lesson. We decided to just go for a 1/2 a day to Sundance because they had an opening for Luke and also because I am freakin almost 40 and I can't do a whole entire day skiing and still be expected to do all my housewiferly duties.. So we got all packed up (took the first 1/2 of the day) and loaded up, all excited about our adventure. As I was driving up Provo Canyon towards Sundance I thought, "Wow, this is really gonna happen. I am going to make it up there on time, and we have all our equipment and the car has not broke down." You see, I had this sensation all day long as we were getting ready that something was going to happen and we weren't going to get to go. It wasn't a bad feeling per se, but I was feeling way proud of myself that I had pulled this 1/2 day of skiing off.

(NOTE: THIS WAS DURING TODD'S RECOVERY, BEFORE THE BREAK IN AND THE STOLEN SNOWBOARDS.)

1 minute to the turnoff and we see the police cars and the barricades. OF COURSE!! THERE WAS AN AVALANCHE IN THE CANYON AND WE WON'T BE ABLE TO GO ON OUR ADVENTURE!! So typical for my life. Didn't even miss a beat..

We turned back around and drove another hour to Gorgoza Park up Parley's Canyon. It is the tubing hill that costs almost as much as skiing, but not quite. We stayed and played for 2 hours and had a great time. I love my little ski (tube) bunnies!

Good times!!

Firestation

This is the look that both Luke and Sadie had the entire time the firefighters were talking.

I may need to consult with an ENT because it seems as though breathing out of the nose is not possible.

Watching the cute firefighter get dressed in his fancy fire clothes and boots.

They have never been so interested.

Look at little Sadie. She thought at any moment there might be a loud sound.

Sadie is quite unsure about the firefighter at this point in the presentation.

Sadie is still expecting a loud noise...

Da Boys..

All of Ms. Heidi's and Ms. Mary Ann's preschool, plus a few siblings.

Luke saying thank you to Paramedic/Firefighter Jim, our tour guide.

MEAN PEOPLE SUCK

The adventure that is my life (think SPACE MOUNTAIN at Disneyland) continues.

What would I blog about if not some weird misadventure or misfortune or mishap.

Or freakin' mean people.

We went to a movie last night for some much needed stress relief. (Mr Ashby + Staystay + popcorn + diet coke = heaven!). We saw Country Strong which I was not all that excited about seeing, but there was nothing else to see, so we purchased our tickets and treats and proceeded to relax. I actually enjoyed the music in the movie so it was a pleasant evening. UNTIL..

we arrived home to find our garage open.. Maddie's car doors open, Todd's new BMW doors and trunk open. It took about 2 seconds to realize we had been burglarized. I freaked out because my kids were home alone (Maddie and Tanner babysitting..) so I ran in and found Tanner on the internet in my room and the babies asleep. I asked Tanner, "Where is Maddie?" He didn't understand my panic.. "She is downstairs." I had just been downstairs and she wasn't there! The entire time I am thinking that surely Maddie wouldn't be kidnapped without making some sort of ruckus, but then I thought, Tanner was playing on the internet, so the entire house could have fallen down around him and he still would have been intently focused on whatever game he was playing. 

Downstairs I yelled for Maddie.  Just as I was about to really freak, I see her as she slowly sits herself up from laying down on the couch.  She LIVES!  She had been asleep, and because of the way my furniture is arranged, I couldn't see her laying down.  

Now that I know my kids are safe I go back to the garage to consult with Mr. Ashby.  He informs me that they have taken anything of value from the cars (CD's, audiobooks, sunglasses) and Maddie and Tanner's snowboards and some of his tools.  If I was angry, Mr. Ashby could only be described as murderous.  I am just saying right now.. I have no fear of anything when I have my husband by my side.  He makes Hannibal Lector look like Mother Teresa when something fires him up.  I find that whole tough-guy caveman act very attractive and somewhat stimulating.  Sue me, I am a cave woman by heart.  

Next comes calling the cops, filing a report, having a family council about the importance of locking all doors at all times when we are gone, saying a prayer to comfort my freaked out children and Mr Ashby leaving with Tanner in tow to go drive around the neighborhood in hopes of somehow finding the perps so he could do a vigilante smack down.  Lucky for the psycho burglars that my psycho husband didn't find them. Mr. Ashby is freakin' scary when he has been wronged!

I seriously hate mean people.