Cute

Today was a crazy busy day, as most of my days are. Sometimes they are a blur and I can't remember what I even did or did not do that particular day. Somedays, there is order. Most days there is chaos and loudness and disorder. Some of the time, I just give in and let me life be difficult. I needed groceries today and would have loved to have gone to the store without my toddlers, but it was not in the cards and I embraced it. As I was putting on shoes and socks and jackets, Sophie (the pig-dog) sat staring at me, with those sad, little eyes. She always wants to go in the car-just like my kids. So instead of putting her in the kennel which seemed like it would take too much energy and I didn't want to see her cry, I decided to let her come to the store with us-NO, I wasn't going to bring her in-she was fine to keep a watch from the car while we shopped. As I was buckling Luke in his carseat, Sophie peered over at him from the 3rd seat.

Luke- (in the most sing-songy voice that a little 4 year old could ever muster) "Oh, hi sweet girl! Are you coming with us? Come on, sweet Sophie, come on! Don't be shy! Come see your Uncle Luke!"

So, it started off cute. Didn't end so cute.

After wrestling my kids for what seemed like 3 hours in the store, I unloaded my basket into the back of the suburban. I just knew that I could control Sophie with one stern "NO!" and I would have no problems with her eating any of my food.

I was right.

She wasn't hungry, she was thirsty. And milk sounded awesome, I guess. Somehow she got the lid off of the milk and I caught her tongue-deep in one of my gallons of milk. Actually, it wasn't my milk. My milk is the skim milk. It was the 2% that is a favorite of my husbands.

Don't freak out! He doesn't read my blog and I wiped it down really good with a wet wipe!

After dinner tonight, I asked Todd if he would like some cake.

Todd- "Cake? We have cake? What kind is it?"

Me- "Spice cake. Maddie made it."

Todd- "Is this the cake right here?" (pointing to the only cake in the entire house)

Me- "Um.. yes. Why?"

Todd- "Well, when I got home from work last night, I was hungry and I thought this was cornbread, so I took a piece and put butter all over it. It was really good"

(Feel my pain. My husband's taste buds are so indiscriminate that he can't tell the difference between cake and bread.)

Me- "Butter does make everything better!"

Todd- "Not cake! That's nasty!"

So I fixed him a glass of yummy 2% milk to wash the spice cake (sans butter) down. He was a happy man. I was a happy lady.

Why I will get the kids if there is ever a divorce

Daddy Day Care: Part 2

I come home from running a quick errand a couple of days ago. As I walked through my kitchen arms laden with packages, I stumbled over a bowl of water sitting right smack dab in the middle of the highest traffic area of our home.

"Why would they put water in a normal dish for Sophie when her water dish is 4 feet away?"

I asked myself this in my head, as I said a naughty word out loud.

I do what I always do when facing an IDIOCY at my house, I take care of the problem.

You know what that means.

I picked up the bowl and cleaned up the mess.

I know, I am so scary when I am mad.

4.8 seconds later, I hear the pitter-patter of little feet coming full board towards me.

There is also another sound, an unpleasant sound that I have heard on Animal Planet right before a small mammal gets eaten or badly maimed by another much bigger animal.

The high pitched squealing is, of course, my toddlers coming to welcome mother home.

However, now they do not know English because they are playing "puppy and kitty" with their daddy. Apparently "puppy and kitty" is where they pretend to be a very obnoxious pair of pets and Daddy is their owner (hmm... good thinking on his part). "Puppy and Kitty" is right up there with "Roller Coaster", I guess, however until the other day, I didn't know they played this game.

So the very loud (very injured sounding) "puppy and kitty" came into the kitchen and started clawing at my leg. Todd came in and informed me of the game and my part in it ("oohh and aahh" and pet them, I learned).

Then the puppy (Luke) got a very mad face.

"Wher's my watew bowl?" he asked, in English.

Then it hit me.

Of course, Sadie and Luke's water bowl was what I tripped over. How lame of me not to know.

I looked at Todd, then I said as sweetly as possible,

"What the freak?"

He said,

"Oh, honey, it is so cute, you have to see them drink out of their bowl! They love it so much!"

So, I obliged. And then they were hungry for a scooby snack after they had their drink and Todd proceeded to show me how he makes my toddlers beg for food, along with our real dog, Sophie.

This is what it takes to be the favorite parent? I am so not favorite parent material...

My "creative" husband wins that prize for sure.

Thanks for playing with them, honey. They love you, for sure!

Note: cutest crack in the world, again...

Life at my house

Episode #1

Imagine coming home at 4:30 p.m. and realizing you have nothing quick to make for dinner.  Husband needs to leave at 5:00 p.m. for a yucky graveyard shift so you feel like you should do something decent for him to get him through the next 10 hours.  Kids want homemade tacos.  Can you do it? Yes, I think I can.  Hurriedly start making taco shells and shredding lettuce and grating cheese and defrosting meat.  Things are going good... moving like a F5 tornado through the kitchen space.. Place the taco shells into the hot grease, turn around to set the table, come back to the stove and holy shiz, a fire! Thats right, a fire.  started not with the hot oil, but with the paper towels too close to the gas stove! I became like Patrick Star for a moment, engrossed in the pyromania of it all.  But quickly I snapped out of it, more because I was worried about my taco shell going up in flames (those things are precious commodities).  Threw that burning paper towel right in the sink and went back to fixing dinner.  Oh yes, and I did save my taco shell.  Dinner on the table at 5:05 (Dad a little late for work, Mom a little worse for wear)

Episode #2

On the days that I work, I try to have dinner preparation mostly done for my family because 

a. I am controlling like that

b. I don't want them eating take out or pizza every tuesday and thursday

c. I feel guilty for not being home to make them a good meal

d. I like taking care of them

So, on thursday I get home from work and they were having spaghetti.  I ask Tanner how dinner was and 

He says "Good.  Oh, but Maddie started a fire."

Me, chuckling nervously-"No she didn't."

Tanner- "Yes she did, look in the garbage."

I look in the garbage and there is a plastic bread bag that looks as if it has been in some horrible accident-all charred and burned. (Maddie is not home to question at this time)

Me- "What the freak??? How did she do that???"

Tanner- "Mom? could you be quiet for a minute, I am watching Mythbusters"

Just kidding...

Tanner-"She put it in the microwave and it started on fire"

Now, really, I didn't think this was possible.  I have put plastic in the microwave before.  Didn't think it could or would start on fire.  I thought maybe, that it was just kind of this little bit spark of a fire.. oh no, I was wrong.  I went to the microwave.  The bread was still in there.  On a plate that should not be microwaved, of course.  As I go to remove the bread and plate, I realize there is standing water in the microwave.  

Me- "What the freak?? Why is there a lake in the microwave?"

Tanner- "Maddie didn't know what to do with the fire, so she ran and got dad and he threw a cup of water on it."

   Me- "What the freak??"

Really, my grown daughter did not put out a fire.. she ran to get her dad and my grown husband threw a cup of water INTO MY MICROWAVE  to put it out.  I mean, I guess it worked.  I loved how they left it for me to clean up though.  So thoughtful.  

Episode #3

Putting kids to bed tonight.  Todd was in charge of Luke (hard) and I was taking care of Sadie (easy).  This exchange occurred when Todd removed Luke's underwear to put him in his night-time diaper.

Luke- "Dad, look you made my penis go smawer! (smaller)"

Todd- "Hey, honey did you hear that!!??" Why do all guys think it is funny when there is a sentence with penis in it?

Luke- "Sometimes my penis gets showter, but mostly it's fattew and fattew and longew and longew"

Me- "Todd, do not laugh"

Todd- "he he he he"

Episode #4

Sadie laying in bed tonight with me.  

Sadie, "Mom, my penis hurts"

Wow, it is fun to be me.

Family Reunion Idea

Check this out.. I have a coupon for 50% of winter cabins and snowmobile rentals. Would we be interested in this for our mini-rasmussen family reunion of 2010?

Close to the edge

Sometimes I feel as if all I do is laundry.  It is kind of like the world as we knew it would not exist if I didn't have some form of laundry to do.  Some days, I am determined to do it all.. sort it, wash it, dry it, fold it, hang it up, stack it, put it away, call children to have them come put theirs away, iron what needs to be ironed (ha ha ha.. i don't ever do that!!).  On those days when I am feeling bold and strong and a bit crazy, I am an efficient laundry machine, nothing gets in my way.  My family eats cold cereal for 2 of their 3 meals and the third meal is old halloween candy (you know that I always have that on hand, Sara).  I am committed to my goal and nothing will stop me.  I start early and finish late.  However, finish may not be the appropriate word, because as we've established, laundry never ceases to exist. What typically happens is just as I am doing my "laundry is finished" dance, something stops me mid-leap. What is that in the previously empty laundry basket? No, it can't be.. it is just my over-tired, over-laundered mind seeing things.  I creep closer and yes, it is not a mirage, it is a freakin sock or a towel or someone's nasty underthings.  Alas, I am once again defeated by the chore that never ends, the bane of every mother's existence (ESPECIALLY in flu season).  

Laundry- a benign enough sounding name- I think it should be more appropriately titled "Eternal Damnation".  It seems a bit more fitting, more descriptive.  In fact, maybe that is what outer darkness is- you must do all the evil people's laundry (sounds like my life already).  

OOpps..the buzzer just beeped- I am off to rotate my next load of eternal damnation.

She is exhausted after her day of parenting me..

      

It is just frightening to hear yourself

in the voice of your 2 year old..

When not getting something she wants she exclaims,

"Mom, that's just wude (rude)! When Dad dets (gets) home, 

I have him take your phone away! 'K? 'K!"

This is what happens when you have toddlers and teenagers and texting in the same house.

 

DINOSAUR MUSEUM WITH WILLIAMS

DEMRI AND LUKE ABOUT TO GET EATEN! 

SADIE AND LUKE HAVING FUN IN THE EROSION CENTER...LOTS OF SAND & MOVING WATER AND TOY DINOSAURS AND TREES.

LOVING THE MUSEUM

In this picture, Luke is already looking for the next thing.  

The child ran from exhibit to exhibit saying

"Look at this totally awesome "fing" (thing)!"

Sadie once again showing her sweet little crack.  Seriously, it is the cutest

crack in the whole world and she refuses to hide it under a bushel-it is to be shared!

Danica is Stef's youngest (and silliest).  She had to have 2 suckers.

 Sadie was glad to give hers up and Danica accepted it even though it was half-eaten.

Isn't she beautiful!!??