Todd is a freak of nature

The strangest things happen to my poor husband. If there is a rare or unusual disease or other form of freakiness, he will acquire it. What he has recently had the pleasure of welcoming into his body is called rhabdomyolysis which simply means there has been significant muscle cell destruction and the by products of this damaged tissue is flooding the body and overwhelming the body's ability to clear it out. Todd also has chronic renal failure, which has been fairly stable until this episode, but with this situation, his kidneys became even less efficient and he developed an acute on chronic renal failure. He also developed what is called compartment syndrome which is a very nasty problem which causes significant swelling in the muscles and soft tissue of an extremity (or extremities). He was unfortunate enough to develop a compartment syndrome in BOTH legs. It is extremely painful and if pressures in the compartments get too high, necessitate another nasty procedure called a fasciotomy which is cutting open the fascia (the covering of the muscle that keeps it a compact group) to allow the muscle room to expand so there is not so much pressure on the tissue of the leg which can, fairly quickly, result in tissue death and permanent loss of muscle function. But, before the surgery, Todd had to endure what I believe should be used in Guantanamo for questioning freaky terrorist people... It is referenced in the ER simply as STRYKER. What is it? He basically got stabbed with a 14 gauge needle 4 different places to check the pressure in each of the compartments of the lower leg. I took pictures which I will have to post later. I felt so bad for my sweetie-so proud that he didn't yell or scream or swear. He almost broke my hand, but I am tough. So that is the story of Todd.. What a way to get out of working Christmas Eve! He will probably get to go home tomorrow if his kidney function has improved enough (crossing fingers and toes and legs!). We have been warned that recovering from a bilateral fasciotomy will be fairly long and painful. He won't be able to return to his super fun ER job for a month or more. Merry Christmas to us!

Todd's Early Christmas Gifts....

So, I have the craziest, most wackado life known to man. I am currently sitting in room 6308 at the University of Utah medical center. My sweet husband is lying in the hospital bed this time. The last time one of my family members was hospitalized was right before Thanksgiving. Now, the week of Christmas, I am back in the hospital, eating chips for dinner and worrying about an ailing loved one. I may not have to wear the same outfit for 3 days straight, which is unfortunate, because once again, I like my outfit. This hospital stay came out of left field and so far has resulted in an ER visit, an OR visit which led to a 5 inch incision on both legs, a catheter (REALLY SAD), double IV lines, 7 liters of fluid, enough pain medication to take down a biggest loser contestant, a 14 gauge needle inserted into my husbands leg 3 different times, a priesthood blessing.... so much freaking fun. I can only say that I must not be learning the lesson I am supposed to be learning. Maybe I am not supposed to celebrate holidays-should I convert to Jehovahs Witness? Should I be more empathetic towards people? Perhaps, I should be more grateful for my health...all I know is the week of Valentines day and Easter, I will be putting my family in one of those bubbles..padded, pressurized to keep out germs, with pure oxygen being pumped in... A bit like how Michael Jackson used to live.

What is kind of cool is that I am using my OTHER early christmas.. Todd bought me an IPAD for Christmas and was so excited to give it to me, he couldn't wait (I don't think I have ever received my Christmas present from Todd ON Christmas). I love that I can blog on the run.. You know like when I am at one of the many hospitals in the valley.

I will be posting gruesome pictures later.. That is your one and only warning..

LAZY

Could I love online shopping more?

No-I don't think I could.  

I am officially done with Christmas.  No more presents needed, thanks.

Love that I didn't move any part of my body except my fingers and LIKE MAGIC, my Christmas was done.  It seems a bit like cheating.  Pretty soon, we are going to be living like the humans in WALL-E.  Robots and computers running our world.  Sitting in a recliner, sipping a smoothie. 

Won't that be fabulous.? I hope someone invents a hovering recliner soon.  I may actually hover myself over to the grocery store and get some real milk for my family.  Well, actually, I probably wouldn't.  I would send my futuristic robot servant to the store for milk. 

Oh, wait.  I realized that Todd is like my own version of a WALL-E robot.  He has made all of my dreams come true- gets me real milk, puts gas in my car, fixes my disposal when I try to put too much stuff down it, etc.. I just need to get him busy on inventing the hovering recliner so my life will be truly complete and I can be fully LAZY all day long.  I don't think that is asking too much of my true love robot.  

HOLD THE PHONE! I just recognized that my life is not as full as I once thought.  I don't have a robot who will wrap all of my online presents that will soon arrive on my doorstep- crap!!  That is above Todd's capabilities-I tried that one Christmas.  Never again. I guess until I get my "wrapping presents" robot, I will have to depend on my sister-(daughter)-wife, Maddie.  

Yah! Disaster averted!

Once again, my life is complete.  

Me on vacation in a few years. Isn't it great.

My idols

Couldn't ask for a better example of WEDDED BLISS than that of my in-laws.

We had their 50th Wedding Anniversary Party last night and it was so much fun to surprise them and dedicate a night to them and their sweet love for one another.

I appreciate my sisters-in-law for all of the work they did-it was a fun (sometimes stressful) project, but they are all such hard-working, creative women that it came off PERFECT and I loved being a part of it.

Love ya MOM and DAD ASHBY!

Arriving at the church BLINDFOLDED.

They thought they were going to a very fancy smancy restaurant for dinner

with all of us adult kids.

Little did they know they were being escorted to a church for some homemade soup, rolls & salad with 100 other people.

GOTCHA!!

I love this picture because all of the "kids" are in it..

Todd, Lori, Kelly & Jodi with Rod and Jeanne.

Although all you see is Rod's magnificent head of hair.

The Robinson sisters-love them all.

The granddaughters- minus Sadie, Zany & Kelly's girls.

It is the teen granddaughter picture.

Proof that estrogen is beautiful

The grandsons.. minus Luke.

Sharon and Gary - LIFELONG best friends.

More Sharon and Gary.

The Goudies

The wedding cake

The Egans

Carl

Joanne

Great friends to Rod and Jeanne

Little people, Big world..

I smell teen spirit..

My sister-in-law who had to endure 2 back surgeries recently.

She was so cute and helped as much as she could from this reclined position.

She actually did more than I did, I am sure..

Typical Ashby--she outworked me even while lying down.

This is the girls trying to flare their nostrils.

This is their fierce look OR

Maddie's "everyday" look.

KIDDING MADDIE!!

Dawn-so talented!!-read a poem that she wrote for Jeanne and Rod

We were able to give them the reception they never had!

Program consisted of:

Dawn reading her poem

Grandkids singing song "That's Crazy"

Todd and I reading out of Rod and Jeanne's yearbook, messages

that they wrote to each other in high school

A 45 minute video with featuring NEVER BEFORE SEEN BY ROD AND JEANNE

video of their actual wedding ceremony and pictures and family interviews.

The Robinsons reunite! The sisters sang "I Came To Your Wedding".

Rod and Jeanne each read a love letter to each other.

Renewal of vows JODI STYLE. Done in Dr Suess style-very cute & creative.

Exchanged rings that Lori provided.

Rod and Jeanne dancing to their song..

I don't think Jeanne stopped smiling the entire night--

Rod, however, was quite teary all night.

LOVE YOU GUYS

Out of Gas

I am out of gas. Empty.  No more fumes even.  My tank is barren.  

My battery needs a jump (get your mind out of the gutter).  I need some serious overhauling done to my being.

It's bad.  I haven't been to the grocery store in 2 weeks.  We have been out of milk for about 10 days. I actually have been making my family drink powdered milk.  I am not kidding.  Maddie informed me again that I am ruining her life- "stupid fake milk and fake christmas tree!".  I can't bring myself to go to the stinkin grocery store for a couple of gallons of milk.  Todd finally had to do it for me.  No more powdered milk for the Ashby's-Dad has saved the day.  

What is the deal? I used to could save the day. I was all about saving the day.  

I mean, I was doing fine.  And then...

sickness, hospital, diarrhea, throwing up, speeding ticket, thanksgiving up, thanksgiving down, christmas up, christmas shopping, Ms. Magoo forceable removing a side-mirror by hitting the garage, snow, cold, sinus pressure, headache, more nausea, car battery dead, ... 

BAM!

I am done.  

What is a girl to do?

I'll tell you. 

Read. Sip hot cocoa (I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE IT EITHER! I AM GOING TO STARBUCKS!). Not make dinner.  Feed family cereal. Don't shave legs. Don't fret about not shaving legs.  Take a nap.  Read some more. Watch Oprah.  Eat pie. Blog and take pictures of my cutie pie children. Cuddle my cutie pie children.  Sit. Breathe.  PRAY!

Pray for me & my family in my time of hairy legs and powdered milk.  It is serious when you make your family drink powdered milk.  

Highly Recommend It!

This is the first book in the trilogy planned by Ally Condie. Loved it. Easy, fast, fun read. Reminds me a bit of the Hunger Games.. I think you will enjoy it.

Shield your eyes!

Too much cuteness!!

The girls are very possessive about the mark that the teacher puts them on. 

Sadie and this little girl had an obvious disagreement about who's mark this was.

They both stood there for several seconds and neither was about to move over to the next mark, but finally a teacher came out and moved Sadie bug over to the next mark, which she

immediately took a liking to.  It is funny to see them throughout the dance look down to see

where their mark is. 

Sadie had her Winter dance recital last week.  The costume itself was worth all of the effort taking her to dance class every week.  She is all about the dressing up.  I am not sure if she would take dance if not for the dresses and make-up.  It is quite sad that even at 3 years old she can expertly apply eyeshadow.  That is what I get for having a 16 year old girl and 3 year old girl in the same house.  

Todd had to work and so we made it a "Girls Party"--only girls allowed! Maddie and I rushed her to her performance and then we took her to Village Inn for pancakes afterwards.  She must have worked up quite an appetite with her fancy footwork because she ate bacon, eggs and a huge funny face pancake.  We had a great time.  

Came home to the remnants of Tanner and Luke's "Boys Party"-- video games and scrambled eggs and toast for dinner.  Tanner makes a mean scrambled egg.  Both boys alive and happy which is all I could ask for.