I could eat you..

List of things I have eaten since 5:00 p.m.
1. Tilapia
2. Fresh corn on the cob
3. Cheddar Biscuit
4. Strawberry Shortcake
5. Grapes
6. Cherries
7. Poptart (just the edges, I hate the middle, even when starving)
8. my child's leftover shortcake
9. Popcorn
10. bowl of cereal

Yes, I could eat you. I am STARVING!! No, not on a diet (stupid, stupid word)! I am just pre-menstruating. Does that happen to you?? I might die. Masher and Sophie look like big giant potroasts... Sick!! Sick and wrong. But, it would solve lots of my problems--no more doggie issues, my belly would be full and I could add to my food storage. I wonder if dogs have 'bacon' on them...?? Hmmm... bacon... if you'll excuse me I must find an axe...

11. BACON...

This is what they would look like in the oven. They are such cute potroasts..

DAY TWO OF CALIFORNIA BEACH ADVENTURE

Upon arrival at our camp site, we were actually pleasantly surprised by the accomodations. As mentioned in previous post, we had a shower and there were fairly clean toilets nearby too. Our children we thrilled with the native wildlife.. we pulled in and almost crushed 2 jackrabbits, a quail and a squirrel thingy. There was more vegetation than I ever had imagined being so close to the beach. HOWEVER.. it wouldn't be an Ashby vacation if it happened to be pure bliss. After a few minutes setting up camp, we recognized we were not alone. Not only did we have the warm-blooded mammals to keep us feeling cozy, but we had several variations of arachnids and swarms of ants... very aggressive and hungry ants. At one point, I had to send Tanner to get our bread as it was being carried off down an ant hole. Not only did our ants love our food, but after one evening of the food box being out, we discovered our squirrel thingies had eaten through our hot dog buns and potato chips (that really ticked me off!!). So I decided it would be wise to keep the food boxes in the trailer when we weren't eating. I thought 'twas a super smart idea. However, that night as we were sleeping, the little ants who had been occupying our food box, decided they would come out and explore the trailer. Oh yah.. super awesome. I think the ants were ticked that we moved them away from their lush vegetation. I don't know what the big deal was, they still had twinkies and jerky to munch on. Oh yeah and my family tasted good too. So my 15 year old daughter woke up on the wrong, wrong, oh-so-wrong side of the cot that morning due to the ant infestation. Makes for a super-dee-duper day!!



As I mentioned before we also had several versions of the same nightmare.. that is spiders. Spiders, spiders everywhere. Now these were not any spiders, these were serious spiders. Think the Arnold Schwartzneggar of spiders. Spiders that made me feel itchy just looking at them. They spun elaborate webs to catch their prey ("out -of- towners") and sat there all day looking freakin hideous. So my sister in law, Lori, comes to our camp to say their camp had the mother of all arachnoids. We must come see it. So after dinner, when we had nothing else to do, we got a flashlight and headed for her camp. Yes, there in the tree, above our heads about 3 feet was the most repulsive thing I have ever seen. As I shined the flashlight up to see it, it just sat there staring at me with it's eight eyes, slowly moving its freaky-looking spindly legs. I swear it was coming up with the menu as it checked me out. I think as I stared it kind of hypnotized me, because I just became entranced watching it. Then it happened. I felt a tickle on my right ear. Holy Mother!! It sent it's mate to crawl into my brain!! So I bashed the side of my head with the large flashlight that I was holding and screamed bloody murder. Of course, no spider. Just my stupid sister-in-law. I made her whole vacation with that stupid stunt. My head wound is just now starting to heal.

This is what the spider looked like, just so you can feel my freak..

No I am not kidding. It almost ate me, I am sure this is what it looked like.

SAND IN EVERY ORIFICE IS FUN...

I had to ask my husband how to spell orifice. He assures me that I spelled it correctly, and if he, who spends hours each day over others orifices, doesn't know how to spell it then I don't know who does... Anywho....

So we just returned from our "Ashby Family Summer Vacation" or in other words "Stacy and Todd's Excellent Adventure" or in other words "A Road Trip from Hell and Back Again" (jokes).

We left on July 11th and returned triumphant on July 18th (one day earlier than planned... don't ask).

We drove the first day to St. George and stayed with our fabulous family friends, Joann and Carl. We thoroughly enjoyed their pool and the wonderful company. Here is the family playing in the water.

The pool was quite an adventure for the little ones. They decided they wanted to cliff jump off the decorative rocks at the deep end. Both Luke and Sadie jumped off approximately 6 feet. They have started their BASE jumping hobby already. Actually, it started about a year ago when Todd made them jump off top of the fridge.

Yes, that is my precious baby boy Luke jumping off a slippery rock into the deep cold waters. Note the smile on his face.

This is Ms Sadie Grace. This is an intermediate jump. I didn't get a picture of her doing the expert jump because I was too freaked out. I had to be in the water with Todd, just in case he happened to miss her and I had to step in and save her.

So after an evening of swimming and cliff jumping we were all tuckered out so we crashed on the floor at Joanne's. This is what that looked like at 6:00 a.m. the next morning.

Luke slipping in the playpen. He insisted.

Yes, bright and early we were on the road again. We made several stops along the way, one in Primm, Nevada. We got there at about 9:00 a.m. and were saddened to see that the roller coaster didn't open until 10:00 a.m. So I snapped a photo of the kids in the parking lot and away we went...

We realized very early on that this would be an expensive trip. We averaged 7-8 miles to the gallon!! We were towing our trailer and that just did us in. We probably could have taken the entire family to Europe, first-class, for the same money it cost to fill our tank 64 times on this trip. Oh well...

We got to San Onofre at 2:45 p.m. This is a beautiful State Beach about 30 miles south of Los Angeles. We camped at San Mateo Campground, which was about 1 mile from the beach. I know, camping and going to the beach.. sounds like a lot of work...yes, you are correct. Alot of work and alot of sand/dirt in the aforementioned orifices. We did have showers, however, they were pay showers which means you insert a quarter and hurriedly wet you hair, shampoo and then before you have time to rinse your hair, it shuts off and you must enter another quarter which will get you through conditioner and 1/2 way through shaving one armpit. So a dollar later you are somewhat clean , but entirely frustrated.

Between showers for 6 people every night and fill ups, we spent approximately 6000 dollars.

Good thing I am super chill.

I will continue the narrative of our trip after a few cocktails..

My life is very strange...

Somedays are just weird. Like the day you go to work at physical therapy and start to treat a patient and her bag starts wiggling and out pops a 3month old kangaroo. Isn't that just the strangest of days?? The joey (yes, I watch animal planet) is a therapy animal itself. Our patient, takes him to care centers to be loved and held by the folks staying there. It was the most gentle animal I think I have ever held. I felt a bit like Jeff Corwin or Steve Irwin, except that I was not in the jungle and the animal was wearing a diaper.

Fourth of July

Fun at Grandma's swimming pool. You know you are a redneck when this is your swimming pool. I know I'm a redneck and proud of it. That is Tanner who is up above Tyler's head. Good toss, Brett and Tyler..

Such a body. She has my midsection and her dad's huge arms.

Sai and Sadie at the parade. Despite the look on Sai's face, we had a great time.

Tanner and Cole at the swimming pool.

Mom is tired!! Just finished the 1/2 marathon and I am beat. Sadie and Luke met me at the finish line. It was awesome to finish and even more awesome to run with all 3 of my siblings and have my family at the finish line cheering me on. I tell you, the last 100 feet is the hardest and they pushed me through...

The Rasmussen Siblings after the Neola 1/2 Marathon!!

Sadie and "Harry Hopper". He is the bunny that Mia, her cousin caught at the kids rodeo in Neola. He has the cutest lightning shaped marking on his head. Grandma and Grandpa Rasmussen always assume a new pack of wild farm animals after the kids rodeo as their posterity refuse to take care of the animals they catch. Usually the poor little creatures are 1/2 smashed and somewhat insane after being chased and then jumped on by several dozen excited children. But, Grandma and Grandpa take the little fella's in and feed and shelter them and nurse them back to physical and mental health and then a few months later, if we are fortunate enough to have the kids catch a pig, we have bacon. Such is the circle of life in Neola. This year there will be no bacon, but between all the grandkids, Grandma and Grandpa's farm inherited one bunny and 4 chickens. Chicken is good, but not as good as bacon. We will have to work on the kids pig-catching skills.

This picture of Luke was on the front page of the newspaper. He looks a bit unsure of himself. I think he probably had at least 10 opportunities to reach down and grab a bunny or chicken, but just as he would get close, a look of terror would come across his face and he would run towards a more distant chicken or bunny. He would get to that little creature and the same thing would happen again. Todd was very disappointed. He had spent hours the week before the chicken chase working with Luke on his chasing and catching skills. I know Todd is a city boy and I should have been the one showing the kids the correct technique, but I wanted him to feel important, at least for a minute. He would throw a pillow and make the kids run and jump on it. Of course, the pillow didn't squawk loudly and run away. And it didn't have a beak that looked like it could take out an eye.

AND THIS IS HOW SADIE FEELS ABOUT THAT...

The picture quality is really bad, but do you really need to see this face in focus?? She is not happy at all about being dressed as a boy. I don't know if she's not feelin the hat or maybe it's the stegosaurus shirt, but one thing is for sure...Sadie "NO LIKEY"!! She has got this face down to a science. She is zero to this face in under .5 seconds. Thats my drama queen... Sure do love her.

LUKE'S INNER DIVA

He has got the look
Seriously, could he be cuter? This was Maddie's idea of fun (or should I say funny?). Note the shark tattoo on his manly right forearm. As a side note, we did not pose him this way, he posed himself. He could possibly be America's Next Top Cross-dressing Toddler Model. He's got my vote.