Attention!! Attention!!

I really have nothing to say, other than, I am not dead, nor is my husband.

You may wonder why this deserves attention.

Let me tell you.

I love my husband. There are a million reasons why, but I am not NieNie and will not get all gushy about all of the wonderful things he does everyday.. (Not to say that I don't love my NieNie, because I do.)

However, I am StayStay. Yes, that is my new blogging name. StayStay. Kind of like a really firmly placed maxi pad. I am StayStay and Mr. Ashby (Todd) is lucky to be alive.

My husband has been sick, as you may know. You may also know that I have been his caregiver. Now I thought I could handle this, but there are 3 things against me.

1. My husband is a Man (thus very stubborn)

2. My husband is an Ashby (thus the most right of anyone ever!)

3. My husband is a Physician's Assistant (thus all knowing)

Those 3 things have given me some CRAZY moments recently. And by crazy, I mean, literally- crazy!! Do you know what I mean when I say crazy?? Picture crazy hoarding cat lady and then give her some crack cocaine and have her not sleep for a few days.. CRAZY! Poor Mr. Ashby, that is all I have to say. He thought I would be like the loving Florence Nightengale, instead he got that crazy character in that movie..What is it called? Oh yes, I remember- MISERY, starring Kathy Bates. Have you seen it? If not, I invite you to our home to pull up a chair and you will possibly get a re-enactment of that fabulously uplifting piece of cinema.

So, I may not be cut out to be a nurse. Especially to my husband. Who is a man. Who also is an Ashby, who is also employed in the medical profession. He deserves better, he deserves much better.

However, he is stuck with me. Because I am StayStay.

This is a photo of me bringing my husband some freshly squeezed lemonade.

I know, I am heaven.

This was snapped as I was lovingly shaving my Mr. Ashby's face.

I am a gentle soul.

This was taken after I had made some fresh warm breadsticks.

Right after I removed the breadstick from the oven, I remembered I had target practice, thus the gun.

This is my method of positioning my husband's legs for supreme comfort at night.

This is such a tender snapshot at the end of our day.

I am securing him, oh so very gently, so he doesn't fall out of bed.

I apologize to Mr Ashby for my failings as a caregiver.

I didn't realize I would want to kill you as you struggled to get well.

You know that I love you and that I would do anything for you.

Even bring you freshly squeezed lemonade.

Really people. Don't call Adult Protective Services.

I am kidding, it is what I do.

And Todd, I do love you so much and I am happy you are getting better

so you can get back to taking care of me and the kids and your patients and your extended family..

You are a wonderful person and I am proud of all of your efforts to get well.

Hanging on and out..

Had us a fun weekend.  Didn't do much except hang out with kids, you know.. 

• angry birds
  
• taking pictures
  
• laying in bed with Todd
  
• watching movies
  
• playing games (the matching game is a HIT!)
  
• went shopping with my favorite girls to gateway
• eating too much
  

LOVE IT!

Todd is slowly getting better.  He is able to hobble around the bedroom like a little old man.  If he goes very far at all, he uses his trusty crutches. He is able to drive now which means his descent into madness has slowed a bit.  He started therapy on Thursday and it went reasonably well.  I knew it would be somewhat difficult because he is still so weak and fatigues so quickly. We will be going into TOSH 2 times a week to work on his endurance, strength and flexibility. As difficult as this has been on the family, we are fairing rather well at this point.  We are grateful for his improvements and know that prayers are being answered.  

Luke said a few things this last week that I had to remember.  He is such a little turkey.  He reminds me of Maddie when she was his age-very precocious and mouthy.  A few examples..

Sex Ed?

Luke and Sadie had picked out a treat at the gas station (their favorite store..don't ask me why.. maybe because we are rednecks..).  Sadie had picked a banana and Luke had picked an apple. Seriously, am I that kind of mom?  I think not.  Sadie picked skittles and Luke picked starbursts.  They were on their way to a serious sugar high in the back seat as we were driving and this is what I heard..

Sadie:  "Yutie (Lukey), do you want some of my M & M's?"

Luke: "They are not M & M's, the are S & M's! And yes, I want some S & M's!"

Oil and Water

Despite all efforts, my children fight.  And it seems lately that the ones who fight the most are Maddie and Luke.  Maddie has no patience for his little boyness and his shenanigans.  Luke knows that he irritates her and can't possible go 3 minutes without making her totally frustrated. Many times a day I have to hide my face because Luke has said something snotty  (but funny) to Maddie.  In the car today, there was more of the same.  Luke was being a terror and Maddie was trying to control him and he was not having any of it.  After several minutes of Luke screaming and trying to smack Maddie and Maddie trying to hold his arms and failing, Todd had had enough.

Todd: "Could you guys give it a rest?"

Me: (to Todd) "Those two are like oil and water, we shouldn't have put them by each other in the car."

Luke: (from the back seat, yelling towards his lovely big sister) "Yeah, Maddie! You are like boiling water!"

Love 'em, despite their imperfectness.

This is the current favorite past time of these 3 lovelies.

The matching game that stupid Santa brought.

Luke was not into it, until he played it with his fun dad.

They have funny names for all of the different crazy Dr Suess characters.

Some examples:

Trampoline Dad

Man pooping a hat

pink dog

and 

Peanut Brothers

My kids giggle the entire time they play, until the end when someone has to be a good loser.

Never an easy thing to learn.

This is how Sadie picks her cards.

Why is she so cute?

I think the Diet Coke I drank when I was pregnant

might have something to do with it.

I am just saying...

Your offspring on Diet Coke..

But, of course, I have another Diet Coke child and

he is a little bit like the "Children of the Corn" children..

so, maybe Diet Coke is not such a good idea.

The jury is out.

My princess is still learning how to be a good sport.

Todd trying to keep the crazy child away from his legs.

Sadie wanted to watch a movie in our room, but we were watching the scary movie "The Others", so we built her a bed on the ground by our bed.  She was facing away from our TV and  Todd put a movie in his laptop and put headphones on her with Tanner's knit hat on to keep the headphones in her little ears.  She looked so cute and every few seconds she would get a little smile on her face as something funny happened on her movie.  It was seriously cute.

And of course, it wouldn't be a weekend of pictures without

a picture of Sophie sleeping.

Hooray for Todd

GOOD NEWS!

Todd's little kidneys have decided to work again!!

Numbers for the latest test look a lot better-not normal-but better!

No more worrying about imminent dialysis or transplant..

Just going to need to check labs consistently and watch the trend.

Hope it reads better than my 401K numbers...

Todd is also walking short distances without assistance of crutches or walker which is a great improvement. He still looks like a feeble little old man, but he is getting stronger everyday. He informed me today that he has lost 20 pounds since this whole thing started. Seriously, I wish it was contagious because I would love to lay in bed for 2 weeks and have people bring me food and treats and watch movies and play angry birds and FREAKIN LOSE WEIGHT. How is that possible?? If I lay in bed for 2 hours I gain a pound. It is so not fair.. He tries to calm me by saying it is all muscle, which of course it is.. but still, 20 pounds!!?? I hate stupid boys...

November Dance

Of course, Maddie insists on going to one dance a month.

November's dance was a pajama dance at Herriman High.

Aren't they just the cutest things ever?

They are supposed to look scared.

Like they saw me naked.

Now that is scary...

Various hospital pictures from Todd's phone

The needle (or should I say LARGE SHARD OF METAL) that was inserted

into my husband's leg. Four places. While awake. Not medicated. So mean.

Check out the green walker

Sadie's hospital stay this November.

Maddie's Tonsillectomy

Luke's owie.

See here for details..

I am downloading pictures from Todd's phone.

Some people collect art or stamps.

We collect hospital bills and medical paraphenalia (such as urinals, puke buckets & walkers).

What is missing from this post is several items which we neglected to photograph:

• Todd's several trips to the ER with kidney stones
• Todd's Rendevous with Diverticulitis
• Maddie and Tanner's wisdom teeth fun.. and Tanner's subsequent infection...
• Luke's broken arm
• Sadie's other 2 hospital stays...
• Maddie's laparoscopy

This is a post to document my out of pocket maximum.

Redneck New Year's Eve

For those of you who don't know, I am a red neck.

I was born a red neck and I will die a red neck.

I like to try to cover up the fact that I am a red neck by purchasing lots of expensive purses and wearing expensive jeans that don't have a "W" stitched on the pocket. I don't wear my rodeo belt buckles that are the size of Texas. I try to watch my language and by that I mean I try not to say "melk" when I am asking for milk and I try not to use my favorite red neck word "ustacould" for the word, well,... ustacould.

Anywho.. I am a red neck and proud of it.

For Christmas my sister bought my parents a board game called Red Neck Life. Super awesome, huh. It is a super entertaining, somewhat inappropriate game that I highly recommend if you are a red neck or you find red neck's funny. After playing at my parent's house, my dear husband decided he must have it for our New Year's Eve game night. So to the computer we go, find it, buy it, ship it overnight and WAHLAW!! Instant Red Neck Life board game at our doorstep. Again, love the online shopping. Does that make me more or less a red neck? I think more because once again, no bra needed...

So, we played the game. And played and played. It is a long board game, but full of laughs. Especially if you play with the Ashby folks. Seriously, every New Year's Eve we spend with these wierdos goes down in history as the "funniest". We have made many fond memories with them. This year was no exception.. We laughed hysterically at our ridiculously hideous pictures of us blacking out a tooth with a chocolate truffle. We also laughed at Lori looking very "special needs" as she tried to text with her new phone.. She probably said "I hate this phone!" 20 times in a 2 hour period, so funny! She may need to be medicated...We also enjoyed the teens and their cute little selves as they danced and talked and played games. Love those sweet girls and that sweet Jantzen. It was a fun night that lifted my spirits. That is what those Ashby's are, my spirit bra-- thanks for the lift, my dearest in-law family.

We have just discovered Lori has "special needs"

Isn't it adorable,watching her use her new phone..

Some of the redneck transportation cards..

Loving IPAD scrabble

Of course, Jodi started the "truffle tooth" game

Objects in this picture are not as hideous as they appear

Lori

I don't know what she is doing..

Not so cute

Brad is hot as a red neck.

holy hideous

The red neck Ashby's playing the red neck game

Notice that Bertha (married to Cletus) had 4 children and 3 of them were named Daryl

Lots of shoes at my front door.

Love it.

Cute little young adults on the dance floor (my entryway)

I was the DJ and I rocked their world.

Need to work on those A frame dance positions..

Zany showing where NOT to place hands when dancing

unless of course you are a red neck OR

dancing with your cousin..

which you might be a redneck if you are dancing with your cousin!

And for those of you who started checking in on this blog for Todd follow-ups, here is the latest.

He is doing well, pushing himself pretty hard. Both legs are still very painful and weak, but he is tough and determined and so I am sure he will be off the crutches sooner, rather than later. The walker has been relegated to a locked closet so as not to trouble us anymore. Your prayers and thoughts and meals and service has been so humbling. We appreciate everyone so much and could not imagine going through this without people willing to help out and give of themselves. You are all awesome!

Tomorrow we will be getting more lab work done to stay on top of his kidney function. The trend is that his kidney function is getting worse, so we need to keep tabs on that. He will also be seeing the orthopedic surgeon this week and the nephrologist (kidney MD) so hopefully we will have some news at the end of the week. The concerning thing now is that he may have some permanent damage to his not-so-good kidneys. Prayers needed!!

I have included some information if you will click on the links below you will find lots of information on his illnesses/conditions. I include that not to bore you or horrify you but to give you the explanation that some of you want which I never seem to have time to give.

RHABDOMYELYSIS

COMPARTMENT SYNDROME

FASCIOTOMY

ACUTE ON CHRONIC KIDNEY FAILURE

Thanks for all your love and support!