Nothing prepares you for the last Sunday.
The last time she will be on your family pew, singing the sacrament hymn.
Nothing prepares you for the boxes, the packing, the empty room.
Nothing prepares you for her excitement to leave your home--her home.
Nothing prepares you for her terror, either.
Nothing squeezes your heart like the last father's blessing.
Except maybe the last family prayer.
Nothing feels so bittersweet as watching your 18 year old tuck her
little sister in for the last time, knowing her heart is breaking.
Nothing prepares you for the non-inhabited room. The almost empty closet.
The empty bathroom. Well, it's not entirely empty-she left some hair
and some tissue and dirty towels for me.. so thoughtful :)
Nothing in my life comes close to the feelings I had as I woke at 3:30 a.m. on Thursday,
August 23, 2012 to take Ms. Maggoo to SUU to start a new life.
How do you process excited dread?
Last Sadie tuck-in
Maddie tucked in with all her crap
Arrival at Cedar North
Checking in.
Remember when she wouldn't let me take her picture!
She is growing up!!!
First unlock
(shut up)
Her dorm-mates
This girl is set-
She has a bed set high up off the ground in case of
*Flood
*Mice Infestation
*Mud slides
*Attempted kidnapping
(what idiot would try to kidnap her off this monstrosity)
She has a fridge/freezer combo.
Some ramen.
Some diced peaches.
Gum.
She has a lounging area and a laptop.
She has a TV with cable.
She has duct tape and scissors.
She has a sewing kit and an iron & an ironing board (HA! makes me laugh!)
She has various sizes of plastic organizers and even a shoe organizer for her closet.
She has a book bag.
She also has-
her memories of her family and friends.
Her scriptures
and she knows how to pray to her Heavenly Father.
This girl is going to be fine.
And so will I.
Eventually.
So this is what it looks like.
To be a mom, leaving her oldest at school.
I would tell you what it feels like, but there is no words.
Ok- here are some words-It feels like when I went to the store today and found some beautiful wheat hoagie buns for my pork roast sandwiches.
Excited because there was 6 buns.
Just enough for my family.
Except.. I only need 5 now.
No words.
4 comments:
Makes my heart ache -- she's so bright, so beautiful, and so talented. She lights up our lives and I'm going to miss that little farm girl that has brought us so much joy. We're so proud of the wonderful young woman she has become and we love her so much it hurts. She's going to do great!
That's one scarey bed -- how does she get on/off, make it, change the sheets, etc?
Change the sheets? Are you serious!? She is a nasty college student!! I will ask her next month if she has done it..
So excited for Maddie and the beginning of HER very, own journey in life!! My heart is aching for you, Stace, because this just so happens to be the beginning of a new journey for you, as well...allowing our children to fly does not feel natural, but it just happens! She will fly high! Love you all!
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