Crying

This will be an unusual post for me.
No swearing or smart-alec comments.
Boring, I know.

I feel... well... I feel ALOT, right now.

This weekend's announcement at Conference came right in the middle of Tanner's Homecoming Extravaganza.  Lots of noise and lots of messes were distracting me from listening to The Word.  Maddie called me right after the announcement was made and announced, "Did you hear, I can go on a mission right now!?" So excited, so happy.  I immediately verified it and starting feeling...well... feeling ALOT!  I couldn't cry with the entertaining I was doing, even though I wanted to.  I felt the Spirit witness to me that this was a magnificent blessing.  This blessing was church-wide, but strangely felt like it was just for me, just for Maddie.

We have had many conversations about Maddie's desire to serve a mission, but not wanting to wait until she was 21.  We have had many conversations about knowing the will of the Lord in your life.  We have had many conversations about her love of travel and love of service.  She has an unending enthusiasm for different cultures and seeing the world.  She cherishes her time spent in the Philippines. Most recently, before Conference (or B.C., as it will be referred to), she has wanted to join the Peace Corp and/or do a study abroad.  She has been searching for what it is she is supposed to do.  As her Mom, I am amazed at her drive to not just coast.. she wanted something more.  Every time we would talk, she would have a new idea for something she could do that she was passionate about.  Most times, I would say, "What you are describing is a mission!!"  And she would say, "I know, but I can't do that right now!"

And now, I know that the Lord is aware of my daughter.  I know that Church policy wasn't changed for Maddie alone.  But I know this change is an individual answer to prayers for her and by her.  I have always known that this girl could and would be a tremendous force for good.  I have always wished that she could go on a mission and feel of the blessings that I know she would receive by serving the Lord in that way.  Wishes can come true, but more certain than that- prayers are heard and answered in ways that are stunningly powerful and good.

It is easy to say, "I want to serve a mission", but when you get to actually make that decision, I am sure it is hard.  I have been surprised at how unwavering Maddie is about her decision.  I think she decided as soon as she heard the announcement.  I believe in my heart that Maddie feels the Spirit telling her she is needed in some far off land, or some boring place like Idaho.  I believe with all of my soul that she will be a fantastic missionary and I have absolutely no hesitation in supporting her decision.  I know that it will bring many challenges and hardships, but I know that she will learn more about the love of her Heavenly Father and Savior by serving them in this way than any other thing she could do.  I am proud of her for this big step.

Crying, crying, never stopping this weekend.  Crying because I am so exceptionally happy for all of the wonderful young people who are so eager to do this amazingly hard thing.  I really don't know where the Church plans on putting all of the new missionaries they are going to be getting.  Mr. Mac doesn't have enough suits stocked up and hey! Somebody better get on opening a Miss Mac.  In teaching the youth, I have known for many years that the teenagers in this generation are so strong.  The good ones have such stronger testimonies at their young ages.  I think this is going to be a testimony builder for many families.  I look forward to the next 9-10 months, preparing myself to be a mother of a missionary.  I have dreamt of this day, and the Lord has sought fit to gift me with it early, with a child who has such a strong desire to serve him.  I am humbled and grateful.

More crying, crying.  I am so blessed.