Things I know for sure

1. You better like an outfit if you have worn it for 3 days straight.

2. You have no pride if you go to a movie in said outfit after you have worn it for 3 days straight.

3. Puking always comes in multiple children.

4. You can't call yourself a MOTHER until you have cleaned up chunky puke which covers multiple floor surfaces (carpet, tile, bedding, bathtub, shower) and involves several different rooms (bedrooms, hall, bathroom).

5. I AM DEFINITELY A MOTHER.

6. There is nothing quite so earth-shattering for Maddie and Todd as having to deal with puke.

7. It is sometimes better to throw items away rather than try to clean off chunky puke.

8. Vomit is Sophie's favorite treat.

Sometimes I go for a few days with quiet and peace.  Not often, but sometimes.  When I do, I catch myself thinking "Are the days of my freakishly silly busy NON-boring life over?" Then, inevitably, I get hit with load of family life crap and I am back in the saddle again (the saddle of the bare-back ride that is my life).  

Here's my week at a glance.

Last Friday-

Got a speeding ticket.  In a construction zone.  It will cost more than I make in a week.  Or in other words, more than 3 purses. I have to take a driving class in order to get it off my record. This will cost the equivalent of 2 purses.

Saturday-

I can't remember exactly, but I am sure something stressful happened.

Oh, yes. Now I remember.  It was Maddie's masquerade ball.  Enough said.

Sunday-

Once again, I make the mistake of feeling pride as I walk into church only 3 minutes late with all of my family dressed and squeaky clean.  Not 3 minutes after we sit down, Sadie informs me that her neck hurts.  I smell that horrible smell of sore throat breath and hand her over to Todd who does a one-minute work up on her while singing the opening song.  After the opening prayer, he informs me that her glands are huge and he thinks she ought to go home.  Quite possibly has strep throat.  GREAT, I say.  I take the little miss home and Todd gets an antibiotic on his way home from church.  Once again, I feel pride.  We have averted disaster. We are awesome.  

I get to work on making my 3 dozen cupcakes and 3 dozen cookies for Maddie's Young Women in Excellence night.  I am a little worried about the night because Maddie is getting her medallion (the REAL medal of honor) and we are showing a video of her that has taken me approximately 36 hours to complete. Not an exaggeration. We had been having lots of trouble with it, and I was nervous we something would go wrong when we went to show it.  So, the afternoon preceeded without incident.  And my worry about Maddie's video was for naught.  It actually worked after some last minute tweaking (the tweaking?? we had to bring my entire home computer to the church for it to be projected and heard by the audience).  It was a wonderful meeting and I, again felt pride.  This time for my daughter and her accomplishment. She is a wonderful girl and we felt righteous, appropriate pride.  

Breathed a sigh of relief.

Monday-

Can't remember. I am sure I was stressed.

Tuesday-

Kept Sadie home from school.  Went to work. Went right from work to Tanner's football banquet.  It seems we went at exactly the same moment as 1000 other people.  We stood in lines for half the night.  While trying to enjoy our pizza that we had just waited 45 minutes for, Sadie vomited.  We were able to catch it on a plate. Yes, dreamy, right.  I think Maddie actually left her body, she was so horrified. The boys hadn't gotten their awards yet, so we decided to stay for just a little bit, so as not to ruin Tanner's life.  Sadie had no fever and I thought that maybe the kids had forced her to eat something that made her gag, so I thought there would be no more puking.  WRONG! SO VERY WRONG! About 30 minutes later, Maddie had returned to her body and was trying to eat again and Sadie took this opportunity to vomit AGAIN. This time we caught it in her cup.  Holy crap.  Maddie had to leave her body once again.  Enough of the public vomiting, we went home.  

Now, most kids can vomit a bit, not eat for a few meals, and they are basically OK.  Not our little Sadie bug.  She has a weird metabolic condition that is not worth explaining here, but if she gets sick she kind of crashes.  We have had to take her to the ER at least 3 times and have been hospitalized a couple of times so she can get rehydrated and get her blood sugar normalized.  

So, Todd and I saw the writing on the wall.  We tried our best to pull her out of it at home, but alas... come Wednesday..

Wednesday-

Woke up. Sadie looked bad.  Took her to ER.  She has been there so many times and knows the drill she freaked and refused to get out of the car.  I had to forcibly remove her from her carseat-so sad.  She got her IV and her glucose and started feeling better.  We felt we could take her home, but everyone from the ER doctors at JVH to the doctors at Primary Children's felt she needed to be hospitalized.  UUghhh! What to do? We decided because she has had so many episodes that we would go to Primary's so we could get further testing done.  

Transferred to Primary Children's.  We were admitted to the 3rd floor and settled in for an undetermined stay.

Thursday-

More vomiting. But now the MD's think she has picked up a virus. GREAT! Overall, she looks good and is acting better.  Running some more tests tomorrow.  Sadie insists on my sleeping in her bed and the side that she has her IV.  She wants a buffer in between her and any nurse or MD that comes in.  She refuses to speak to anyone, denies all of their attempts and tricks.  She says over and over when they are flushing her IV or drawing blood "I wanna dough home! I wanna dough home!".  Forever Young play room is our saving grace.  It is definitely the bright spot of our stay.

Friday- 

We get to "dough" home!! About 1:30 p.m. we get to leave the confines of the hospital and see what the world looks like.  I wearing the same outfit I arrived it and I did once like it, but not so much anymore.  I have not shaved or washed my hair since Tuesday.  Wow, I am super disgusting.  I needed a break so after getting Luke and Sadie down for a late nap, Todd & I took Tanner to Deathly Hallows.  I didn't even shower.  I didn't change my clothes.  I was that DONE! Had a great time with Tanner.  Maddie decided she wanted to go out to Herriman later that night, but she was very tired, too tired to drive, so I told her I would take her to her friends house and then I would go shopping for a bit of much needed stress relief.  I was in pure heaven, went to Target, got my non-fat, kids temp, tall peppermint hot chocolate.  Strolled the aisles, thinking of Christmas.  The store kicked me out at 10 p.m. and I was walking out to my car and the phone rings. It's Tanner. There is panic in his voice.

"You have to come home! Now!"

"What is wrong??" I ask.

"Luke is throwing up all over and Dad says come home right now!!"

 Why did I answer my phone?

I rush home.  What assails me is a sight that takes every last bit of my will to live. 

Vomit. Vomit all over my bedroom floor.  Like confetti.  ALL OVER!  Vomit in the bathtub. Vomit all over Luke and Todd.  Vomit, vomit, vomit.

Didn't I just do this??

Luke literally has puked his guts out.  I think he might have puked a lung and kidney up too.

Needless to say, Friday ended with lots of curse words (said in my head) and even more disinfecting spray, antibacterial sanitizer, laundry soap and Zofran (anti-nausea medication that cost 65 dollars-worth every penny!)

Saturday-

Laundry. Holy crap is it hard to keep your chin up when you have 14 loads of puke covered bedding and towels to clean and sanitize.

No more puking. Heaven knows I would have packed a bag and left.

Although, I have already proved that a change of clothes is overrated. I could just wear my trusty old outfit of Tues/Wed/Thurs..

The rest of the things I know for sure:

9. I am so grateful for my children's health and that all we have to deal with is a weird metabolic disorder. 

10. I do not know how people deal with having children in the hospital for long periods of time.

I missed my other kids so badly and worried the entire time.  I don't like not being there for my kids and not overseeing what is going on in their lives.  Everything worked out and we had lots of help from great people, but I know for sure that I love to be the MOM. 

Even when it involves vomit.