Cool canning lingo

I am the Canning Queen

Once again, I exceeded all of my Mother's expectations.  She is soon going to have to get a new favorite daughter (I have given up being the favorite child, we all know who that is, "baby boy"). I think that I should get a month long pass from anything domestic, because today I did nothing but can, or shall I say "bottle" as they said in the 50's.  I "put up" a 1/2 bushel of pears as.. 

1) Pear-vanilla preserves

2) Orange Pear marmalade

Again, I may soon have my own TV show, delighting audiences around the globe with my skills as a Artist Extraordinaire specializing in the pear variety of preservation.  I may even just start my own internet company, selling my extravagant wares to unfortunate, and untalented folks such as yourselves.  I mean, really... look at those fabulous names.  I think the only way to improve on those names is to add some fancy-schmancy East coast town to the beginning of the name.   Like Nantucket Pear-Vanilla Preserves, or The Original Hamptons Orange Pear Marmalade... I think I am on to something.  Definitely better than South Jordan Mish Mash of Overripened Pear.

I am sorry for your pain. Someday you will be able to purchase these gems for yourself.  But for now, go ahead and eat your smuckers and try not to wish evil on my talents.  It is a gift that my mother gave to my sister who then shared 1/8th of her knowledge with me.  I just expanded on the small morsels I was tossed.